Tonight without you

This has been the saddest night.
I loved it when you allowed me to court you,
I loved it when I heard you like me a lot,
I love you.

The nights are dim when I’m not with you.
The nights when I’m with you, I want to call a night.
The nights are nights when you shine through my eyes.
Tonight, you’re not with me, I want to be with you.

I love your eyes,
I love your hands,
I love your toes,
I love all of you.

I wish I didn’t pull the trigger.
I wish I didn’t loose the thread.
I wish I didn’t tighten the belt.
I wish I didn’t hurt you.

Plans are laid out to my mind,
But your words simply wouldn’t mind.
I dreamt of you and me together,
But maybe I have to sleep with the thought and let my dreams do the work.

It’s been 14,668,000 seconds since I met you.
I saw your face six times, and dreamt of seeing it six more times, sixty, six hundred, six thousand, six million times until I finally recognize that yours is the face I want to see for the whole lifetime.
No any calculation could count my desire to see you, each time I skip to think of you.
And perhaps, tonight, I have to stop counting because I can’t already be with you.

This has been the saddest night, and the next nights to come without you.